A hard lesson at the beginning
When you're trying to make changes in your life, you're going to fall down a lot. You need to keep track of where you're failing and where you're succeeding to be able to course correct, and you'll notice that you're failing a lot more than you're succeeding. This is OK though. It's what you can expect. You didn't learn to walk on the first try. If you're picking up a new instrument as a musician, you'll go through a period where you're making noise, and not notes. If you're a writer, you'll put your share of clumsy, awkward sentences on a page. And if you're a visual artist, you'll make some bad art(neck bolts!). If you're a magician, you'll have to learn to expect to screw up some rituals, fire sigils that don't work, and learn to confront failure. Just keep track of your progress, and do it honestly. Down the line, you'll be able to pick up your journal and see how far you've come.